Drinking Game

Magikarp Jump Drinking Game

Players: 1

iOS, Android

Ok, yes, Magikarp jump is a game designed to keep your children distracted long enough for you to make it through your grocery list incident-free, but don’t pretend like your not training your own little pathetic flopper when you have nothing better to do.

This game is best for when you are bored, have no plans, and just really need a reason to drink.
Drinks

  • Magikarp levels up
  • Win a league battle
  • Train your magikarp
  • Special event occurs
  • Use a friendly pokemon’s ability

3 Drinks

  • Retire a magikarp at max level
  • Win a league championship
  • Retry fishing a magikarp
  • Try a risky event option and succeed
    • Such as opening a pokeball, trying to get a berry, telling magikarp to find its own way home, or investigating a mysterious sparkling object in the water.
  • Receive a friend candy for leveling up a training course or food item

Shot

  • Lose a magikarp
  • Forced retirement before max level
  • Food frenzy

Don’t worry, you’ll be drunk as a fish before you have your second league championship.

Esther
When your magikarp dies while giving birth to your children after you’ve turned to the darkside and lost literally everyone else that ever mattered to you.
Drinking Game

Starbound Drinking Game

Players: 2-?

PC


Starbound is everything a two-dimensional sandbox RPG should be. There are many different parts of the game, so pinning down just one drinking game as a “one game fits all” solution is basically impossible. Since there are three difficulty options, I present you with three options of drunkenness.

Campaign

If you’re playing through the story line, start here.

Esther
I stole five manipulator modules during this quest, and my reward is one manipulator module? Esther, what kind of sham are you running here?

Look, you know as well as I do that Esther is just using you to run her galactic errands. The help she offers is a lot of information, but not helpful information like the coordinates of a planet with a known Apex village. For someone with all the secrets of the artifacts, she knows surprisingly little about the species that have them. Broaden your horizons a bit, Esther. The galaxy is multicultural.

Picking up a new quest: Drink 1
Turning in a completed quest: Drink 1
— If the quest you completed is for Esther: Drink 2
Opening a reward bag: Drink 1
Die: Take a Shot
Hire/Add a new crew member: Drink 1
Upgrade your ship: Drink 1

Colonizer

If you’re really into realty and property management, this is your game.

Tenant Quests
So I build a house and then scare the shit out of some guy? Got it.

So, if you’re the mayor of 50 planets (or you want to be), you’ve probably already completed the main quest line. Life as a landlord can be exciting and challenging (via colonies in extreme climates), or it can be dull and moderately lucrative (via colonies in safer neighborhoods…like your spaceship.) Whichever way you choose to play, you can always make it more fun with alcohol.

Putting up a new deed: Drink 1
Putting up a deed in your ship: Drink 3
Collecting rent: Drink 1
Completing a quest for a resident: Drink 1
Die: Take a Shot
Hire/Add a new crew member: Drink 1
Hire a resident as a crew member: Drink 3
Upgrade your ship: Drink 1

Multiplayer

For those who want PvP rules, this is your chance to challenge your friends.

Esther
That feeling you get when you’re playing with someone who can’t even figure out their keybindings.

This game wasn’t necessarily designed for player vs. player combat, but it can still be quite entertaining. Obviously, being similarly equipped is important unless one of you is exceptionally terrible.

The person who gets the first kill chooses a set number of drinks (we’ll say 3 as an example) and drinks them. The person who was killed respawns and the game resumes. The next person to die drinks twice that amount (in this case 6.) They can then choose to keep the “bet” at 3, change it to 6 (so that the next death would mean drinking 12,) or take additional drinks to raise the bet even more.

When you decide that the drinking number has gotten out of hand, pull out an instrument and start playing Canon in D. If someone else is playing the song and you agree to a reset, pull out an instrument and join in. If someone else is playing and you disagree, kill them for being a wimp and drink the entire current punishment with them.

Drinking Game, Multiplayer Drinking Game, Single Player Drinking Game, Strategy Game

Crusader Kings 2 Drinking Game

Players: 1-16

PC


Crusader Kings II is a game of intrigue, espionage, politics, and of course, death. In a world where everyone is plotting or resting in a plot, what doesn’t kill you will probably kill you later.

murderplot

Drinking and plotting to kill each other is a great way to spend a Saturday afternoon with your closest friends. Being such a complex game, feel free to add or alter any drinking occasions as you see fit.

Happy New Year!

Celebrate each passing year with a quick social drink. This will get more useful the drunker you get, because it will remind you how quickly time is passing.

You arrange a marriage!

Both people are outside your nuclear family:

Congratulations to the happy (or whatever) newly weds! Take a drink.

Marrying off your child:

Congratulations, Pops/Mama! Take a drink if they married above their status; Two drinks if they married their equal; and take a shot if you married your child to someone unworthy, you piece of shit.

Marrying yourself:

Good job! Take a drink for every living member of your nuclear family (Parents, siblings, children) because they’re toasting you at your wedding. All other players should also take a drink with you.

You get sick or injured

Each time you choose (or are forced into) any type of treatment, take a drink. Alcohol is great medicine.

You succeed in a plot to have someone killed

Woohoo! That bastard probably had it coming. Take a drink and hope that your beverage hasn’t been laced with revenge.

Was it one of your superiors?

Give out a shot just to remind everyone what a badass you are. (take a shot instead if you’re playing solo, or you’re trying to keep your murder secret)

You die

Take a shot and hope that your heir isn’t a fault-ridden adolescent.

Were you murdered?

Take an extra shot and be more careful next time.

Did you plot your own murder?

Wow. Everyone else takes a shot.

You acquire new land

Give or take a drink for each new territory, and a drink for each new vassal.

You go to war

Take a drink with your foe.

Did you start the war?

Give an extra 2 drinks to the player of your choice.

Surrendered?

Take a shot, you coward.

Victorious?

Give 3 drinks to anyone, and tell them to acknowledge your greatness.

You lost the game!

Your lineage has met its end. Have you left a meaningful mark on the world’s history? Probably not. Better take a shot and start over.

Drinking Game

Super Contra Drinking Game

Players: 1-2

NES, SNES, Nintendo Classic Mini, emulator


You know how this starts…  ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A Start. That’s two shots straight “up,” then “down” ’em both. Look left, look right, look left, look right. Binge And Start.

Seriously, though, if you’re as bad at this game as 7-year old me, that code is life.

This game is pretty simple and will work with the original Contra as well as Super Contra.

NES Update Meme

1 Player

Simple Rules

Take a drink every time you lose a medal, take a shot every time you make it to the next level. Reverse these if you’re really good at the game.

“Realistic Reload” Mode

If you’re looking for a way to bring modern day mechanics to a world of infinite bullets, take a drink between every burst of 6 bullets. Not only will this get you drinking more quickly, it may just change the way you play the game.

2 Players

Simple Rules

Same as above, but at the end of each stage, take a drink for each of the medals your comrade has left.

“Realistic Reload” Mode

Same as above, but shout “reloading” like a douche bag before every designated drink.

Action Game, Drinking Game, Multiplayer Drinking Game, PC

Who’s Your Daddy? Drinking Game

Players: 2-4

PC


Who’s Your Daddy is one of those games that you want to play the moment someone explains the concept. In a standard game, there are two players: Daddy and Baby. The game plays as a struggle between the two to meet their individual goals.

Daddy’s Goal: Keep Baby alive.

Baby’s Goal: Die.

There is an exceptional number of opportunities for Baby to terminate its sad existence (drink bleach, bake itself in the oven, drown in the pool, and power outlets to electrocute oneself), but plenty of ways for Daddy to thwart his child’s suicidal efforts. There are caps for the outlets, shelves to put things out of reach, locks, and much more.

daddypic
Will this heat make my balls drop faster?

Turning the game into a drinking game is quite easy, and feels pretty natural given the somewhat dark humor behind the game. Each round is fairly short, so a wager game is your best option.

We’ve found that Baby nearly always has the advantage, so if that stays true through updates to the game, you can do the wagering as follows.

2 Players:

At the beginning of the round, Daddy makes a bet of X drinks and then drinks them. At the conclusion of the round, the loser drinks twice Daddy’s bet. Switch Daddy each round unless one of you wants to be incredibly drunk.

Optional rule: Each time Daddy makes something “safe,” Baby takes a drink.

3-4 Players:

Playing with more than two people? Try “Daddy’s Nightmare,” which pits Daddy against three babies with a patricidal goal. Same wager rules as before except that this time if Daddy wins (by turning on the power before his children murder him) he passes out the double drinks between the other players. If the babies win (by killing their pops,) poor Dad must drink alone.

babypic

Adventure Game, Drinking Game, Multiplayer Drinking Game, Platform Game, Puzzle Game

Animal Crossing: New Leaf Drinking Game

Players: 2-4

3DS


Looking for a way to play a drinking game with your friend who lives in Shanghai and owns a 3DS? Great! You’ve come to the very specific, perfect place.

Animal Crossing is a great game to play alone while you’re lying in bed questioning your life choices, waiting for sleep to come… but it can also be a great game to play with friends, while questioning your life choices and getting liver-destroyingly drunk.

There are a lot of ways you could turn multiplayer AC:NL into a drinking game, but the easiest way is the island mini-games. While you’re earning relatively useless tokens, you can dish out not-so-useless drinks and shots! The mini-games are all between 3 and 10 minutes each, so you can decide based on how quickly you want to get smashed.

acnl
Too bad you’re all gonna die out here.

The Rules of the Game

Rules of the game are simple. You each take as many drinks as the team earns tokens from Tortimer. If one player is awarded more tokens than the others, the additional tokens become shots that player can give out to the other players as they see fit.

Play until the screen on your 3DS becomes a hazy blur and using the joystick feels like trying to thread a needle while riding a bull.

Gulliver Passed Out Animal Crossing Drunk
You fucking drunk, Gulliver.
Action Game, Multiplayer Drinking Game, Single Player Drinking Game

Balloon Fight Drinking Game

Players: 1-???

NES, Wii U Virtual Console, GBA

With the pending re-release of the NES, we knew that people were going to be looking for drinking games related to some of their favorite classics. Personally, I can think of no game that I was more hopeful to see on the list than Balloon Fight. Hours and hours of my childhood were spent playing this game on 1-player, 2-player, and Balloon Trip. So without further ado, here are ways to get drunk with all 3 options.

1-Player Game

1-Player Image

  • Your Balloon Pops – Take a Drink
  • You Lose a Life – Take a Shot
  • You Are Struck by Lightning – Take a Shot
  • Hit by a Fucking Fish – Take a Shot

2-Player Game

2 Player Image

  • Lose a Balloon – Take a Drink
  • Lose a Life– Take 3 Drinks
  • Struck by Lightning– Take a Shot
  • Hit by Fish– Take a Shot
  • Earn 3000 Points – Give a Drink
  • Earn 12,000 Points – Give a Shot

Distribute point based drinks/shots before or after each bonus round.

Bonus Rounds (Optional):

Bonus Round Image
Distribute the following drinks in addition to the drinks from rules listed above.

  • Earn 1,000 Points – Give a Drink
  • Score a Perfect 10– Give a Shot

The point amounts can be adjusted to the skill level of your group. If you’re all terrible, take them down a bit. If you’re pros, raise them – or don’t and just drink like crazy.

Balloon Trip

Balloon Trip Image
This can be played similar to 1-Player mode, but there’s also a great way to play with a group. Essentially, one person will be playing the game and the other players will be gambling on their performance.

For the person playing the game:

After you lose, give out a drink for every 3,000 points you earned, or a shot for every 12,000 points.

Alternate: Everyone not playing takes a drink each time the player accumulates 3,000 points.

For the other players:

Before the player begins, you may wager on two aspects of the game.

Cause of Death:

Bet a number of drinks on how you think the player will die (Lightning, Fish or Drowning.) If you are wrong, drink your wager. If you are right, give out drinks according to the chart below:

  • Death by Lightning – Give Double Your Wager
  • Death by Drowning- Give Triple Your Wager
  • Death by Fish- Give QUADRUPLE Your Wager

Total Points Accumulated:

Each player will guess how many points the player will accumulate before dying. The player closest to the correct amount may give out 1 drink per 1,000 points they are off by.

EXTREME MODE

While in Balloon Trip, any time the player pops a bubble, all players must chug their drinks for the duration of the screen freeze!

Mobile Game, Multiplayer Drinking Game

Pokémon GO Drinking Game

Players: 2-21,000,000+

Mobile


By now, if you’re not playing Pokémon GO, you’re likely the only one of your friends not out hunting small creatures on your phone. Niantic has provided this generation with what we’ve wanted since we were in elementary school: The chance to be the very best, like no one ever was…to Catch ‘Em All… to actually be a Pokémon trainer. It’s a great reason to take a walk, but it can also be a great drinking game when you’re staying in.

  • I’m bolding staying in because the last thing this game needs, or we are promoting, is some drunk idiot walking into someone else’s home or the street because of this drinking game. BE RESPONSIBLE. THIS IS A DISCLAIMER.
  • Thanks

The Rules

Everyone playing will have their phones open to PoGO for the duration of the game, so it’s good to play during another activity that doesn’t require the use of your phone. Some great options are another drinking game (like Circle of Death), watching a show/movie, or playing a console game like Final Fantasy XV.

You Spot a Pokémon

As part of the game, you MUST attempt to capture every Pokémon that you have the opportunity to. When you attempt to capture the Pokémon, you take 1 drink for each time the Pokémon breaks out of the ball, and 2 drinks for each time you miss the Pokémon completely. Check your aim!

You Catch a Pokémon

Give drinks according to the rarity of what you caught. Use this list from Eurogamer.net as a reference guide – it’s currently the best I can find including the newly added second generation. If a second or third evolution appears, take the given drinks times 2 or 3, respectively.

Everywhere – 1 drink
Common – 3 drinks
Uncommon – 5 drinks
Rare – 7 drinks
Very Rare – 10 drinks
Epic (Very Rare Section 2) – 1 shot
Special/Region Exclusive – Finish current drink
Not Currently Available – Drink everything else in the house. Everything. Even the mustard.

Congratulations, you’ve got a new Poké AND one of your opponents is drinking to your victory.

Optional: All given drinks must go to someone on the opposing team. Valor shall not give to Valor, etc.

The Pokémon Escapes

Take a shot! This isn’t amateur hour; if you have trouble with aim and successful captures, you’re going to be drunk… soon.

drunk oddish

 

Extreme Mode

You Evolve a Pokémon During Game Play

Give a shot! Have a bunch of Weedles saved up to evolve with a lucky egg? This may be a great time to use it.

Pokemon GO Evolution

Using a Lure

If you’re lucky enough to be able to play at/next to a PokéStop, then using a Lure will absolutely intensify the game. Everyone take a drink (or a shot) to celebrate the placement of the Lure!

Pokemon GO Incense Lure


Leave us your best catches while playing the game in the comments below. Or just report to us how many Pokeballs you wasted on this stupid drinking game and how many Rattatas you managed to let escape.